Elderly Bystander Doesn’t Get Ultimate, No Matter How Many Times You Explain It | Believable Fakes



A Monday night league has failed to make sense to elderly local Dale Furt, a retired 76 year old who played a lot of rugby in his youth. Furt’s regular walk through the park was interrupted last week by a scene he described as a “deeply disturbing crossbreed of legitimate sports”, and he subjected it to intense scrutiny.


The Ultimate players involved were quick to notice the concerned looking senior on the sideline, and made several overzealous attempts to engage him.


“Yeah, I went through the rules a couple of times, but he kept asking where the ref was,” explained local league stalwart Christopher McCubbin. “I tried to teach him a backhand, but he just kept throwing the disc end-over-end like a tennis ball and asking when we were going to see a spear tackle.”


Mr Furt became increasingly frustrated as more and more university-educated, physically weak nerds tried to oversimplify a sport with the word ‘Ultimate’ in its name. Patronising descriptions of Frisbee as a “fusion” of netball, NFL and a popular 1960’s childrens toy did not help, and led Mr Furt to demand to know why no-one on the field was wearing skirts or shoulder pads.


The elderly man was pushed past breaking point by a lengthy pick discussion, which described as, "what would be the greatest abomination in the history of sport, if you actually could call whatever this rubbish is a sport”.


He went home to watch some rugby with his wife.