Traditional rivals, ChickenEgg and Team Briefcase, remain locked in a pick call stalemate this evening, a full three days after the initial incident occurred.
The discussions, which began after a contentious endzone turnover in the final of a local tournament on Sunday, have descended into petty name-calling and a near-constant yelling of “BUT DID IT AFFECT!?”. Physical copies of the rule book have been delivered to the fields and WFDF Rules Committee members have been flown to the scene but claims of “it’s a grey area!” continue to hamper progress.
Eyewitness accounts claim ChickenEgg had an opportunity for an upwind break with an ambitious deep shot that hung in the wind. When a pick in the stack was called and the disc was blocked under a mish-mash of players from both teams, the resulting rules dispute soon fell into anarchy.
One player, who wished to remain anonymous, said the argument was so heated that, “I thought about maybe flicking one of the other players in the back of the ear while he wasn’t looking”. Although fiery tempers have calmed since then, the bad blood remains.
“Yeah, it was chaos," said rookie Dave Bapto. "Dudes were getting tape measures out to demonstrate their vertical leaps and bragging about their 100m time to prove they could have got there. The thrower kept saying that it was the greatest huck of his life and was pinpoint accurate, even though it sat up for about 10 seconds, so the discussion carried on.”
“Most of us began to fully settle in after the first hour of fighting. Luckily, we had sleeping gear already because it was camping tournament..”
Emergency food supplies were brought in after nightfall, but the pre-dusk hangriness before the delivery from nearby KFC no doubt contributed to the extreme testiness of the negotiations. And with alcohol prohibited at the fields, many players are claiming to be dying of thirst.
With no foreseeable end in sight, global Ultimate leaders are demanding a peace summit in July. But at this stage, both captains have flatly refused to sign any treaties or even agree about what "actively guarding" means. Neither have booked new flights home after missing their original planes to continue the argument.
“Yeah, I imagine they’ll have to give it up soon, they’ve both got kids and jobs,” said Bapto, who claimed to be quite enjoying not having to do any uni work while on the field. “Though they won’t physically be together soon, I strongly suspect the argument will continue over Facebook. Get ready for that one.”