Rookie occasionally yelling “NO BREAKS!” fixes team’s entire defence | Believable Fakes

First year player John Watkins appears to be a shoe-in for AFDA Coach of the Year after his sporadic yelling of “NO BREAKS!” on the sideline fixed all the problems of his team's defence.


Amongst a cacophony of specific and targeted information being given from the sideline, Watkin’s mindlessly repeated calls of “NO BREAKS!” when any opposing player received the disc seemed to be the decisive factor in his club team’s 5-point win over their cross-town rivals.


“I thought about yelling ‘NO AROUNDS!’, but realised that might mean we get broken on the inside,” said an introspective Watkin’s post-match. After a long pause, he added, “And, like, breaks are bad.”

While the captains and coaches poured countless hours before and during the tournament into making specific adjustments to the defence, troubleshooting issues and giving precise and accurate feedback, it was clear that simply saying “NO BREAKS!” was the only thing that was needed.


Watkin’s visionary direction really came into its own following an actual break pass, when he would yell “NO BREAKS!!!” with a slightly higher intonation and more emphasis on the word BREAKS!!! While this tended to have no effect on the amount of breaks that were actually let off, simply alerting the team to the fact that break throws were happening, was clearly a decisive factor in the game.


Following the success of this strategy, Watkins is already focusing his strategic mind on offence.


“I’m going to start yelling “CUTS!” when there are no cuts,” he said. After a long pause, he added, “Because, like, cuts are good.”